Burst Reach #42
there are simply too many things
Hi. November came and went. Most of what I’d had written for a draft of last month’s newsletter is no good now, but I still wanted to put words down and send SOMETHING out, so here we are, for better or worse.
When I was juggling so many things in October, there were so many other things that had to fall by the wayside. I thought I could play catch-up in November but that wasn’t the case. Try as I might, I cannot do everything. Which is frustrating because I WANT to be able to do everything: to work, to draw, to paint, to dance, to play a dumb trading card game, to watch the things I want to watch, and maybe go to the park and hike, or visit an art gallery, and instead I find myself sitting and feeling drained. My capacity for…so many things just isn’t what I want it to be, and finding a way to balance all of these things is itself draining.
My favorite line, from a song, from anything really, is:
“I’m haunted by the strains of human limitation”
It’s from, and this is going to sound so absurd, a 2005 song by the Christian metalcore band Norma Jean called Scientifiction: A Clot of Tragedy/A Swarm of Dedication. Typing all of that out makes me feel a little nuts, but it’s been true ever since I heard it in high school when a friend burned me a copy of the album it’s on, O’ God, the Aftermath, shortly after it came out.
I am always mad about my limitations, the things I am unable to do. I don’t know how to like…be comfortable with these boundaries.
Oh: that last newsletter about all the art for sale. I’m happy to report that I was able to sell enough work to cover more than half of the repair bill for my car! I made a better album of all the work for sale on Facebook, and need to work on one on my website too. I’m grateful to everyone who reached out and bought something!
I’ve also finished a couple commissions and have a couple more to do this month. I still feel like I’m drowning sometimes, especially with other bills to deal with, but still, it could be much worse.
Also, I have one more event this year, and it’s next Saturday’s Y’alliday market in Johnson City:
I am not terribly well prepared, but I’ll get there. I’m excited for it and think it’ll be good fun!
I’ve been stuck here for a day or two now and probably just need to hurry up and push this out to move on to other things, despite not really having any idea of what to end on. The holidays are a stressful and overwhelming time, so hang in there, yeah? Take care!