Burst Reach #34

on quitting and figuring out what's next

Good morning, we are more than halfway through February and halfway through the Pouncepunk art challenge that Richard Graves and I created and host every year. The piece I posted for yesterday’s prompt Critical is getting a pretty big response, seeing as how I got really personal for it:

It’s not my favorite, and I’m embarrassed to have done two self portraits back to back (the previous prompt was Photo) but it’s always nice to see a piece resonate with folks.

Last Friday, I worked half a day and went to the Analog Appalachia show at HollerHouse afterwards, by artist and musician Travis Goyette. For a half day’s shift, it was the absolute worst, practically breaking me, and going out afterwards was a balm. Travis is a collage artist, and while his traditional collage work was on display in the shop, the focus of the show was his video collage work, set up on an array of old CRTVs. His friend Idle Tones (who is also one of Ashley’s co-workers) did improvised electronic music behind the array. It was a wonderful audio visual experience, and interactive: One TV set aside had a video camera, a Nintendo 64, and a visual switcher set up. Travis led me over to it and we played a round of Super Smash Bros together while taking turns playing with the dials and buttons on the switcher, and then he switched to Wave Race 64 for me to play before wandering off.

The experience buzzed in my head all weekend, and come Monday, when I sat down to prepare for work, I realized I couldn’t work another shift. I called out of work, thinking another day to work on other things would help, but come Tuesday, I knew I couldn’t do it anymore and quit my call center job. The way things were just getting progressively worse since November, with no end in sight, the constantly dealing with angry, aggressive clients, getting yelled at more and more, was too much.

The rest of this week has been a whirlwind as I’ve run around unsure of what I should be doing or even what I want to do. I changed the lug nuts on all my car’s wheels, packed up and returned all of my job’s equipment, applied for one (1) graphic design job, called a friend’s dad to talk about a project he wants me to do, celebrated Valentine’s a day early with Ashley, bought four (4!) videogames, helped some family out, and checked out sixteen (16!!) children’s books from the public library as research for a thing.

My body has felt…weird since quitting, too. It’s like a weight was lifted, but there’s all this tension that I don’t know how to release. Dance class yesterday helped: I was the only student, so I got to decide to work on technique and exercise, stretching, massaging my feet, and doing some intensive, repetitive things that at least helped me out of my head and back into my body. I needed it. I’ve been sleeping in too, and I feel like I should just take a day or two to relax and play some of the numerous games I’ve bought (I’ve already bought almost twice as many games this year as I did all last year), there’s just…always something else to do, something else to work on.

Here’s another Pouncepunk piece, this one based on the prompt Frantic, inspired by Jonathan Glazer’s short dance film Strasbourg 1518:

I think I’ve got a nice opportunity lined up that’ll pay well, and my work for Planet Nude is going well. I don’t think I’ll get the one (1) job I’ve applied for so far, and I haven’t taken the time to look for more just yet. I have a decent amount saved up so I’m not stressing, but I will say that now is a VERY good time to commission me if you want some original art (I just finished a portrait of Aragorn for a friend), and/or to join my Patreon as a subscriber for as little as a dollar a month to keep up with the work I create as I make it. Or if you just want to throw a few bucks my way I have my Ko-fi, which I honestly kinda forgot about until just this moment and should probably update.

Media bursts: Ashley and I saw Captain America: Brave New World on Thursday, and it was fine. Good fights, I think I liked the first half more than the second. I’ve been playing and loving Astro Bot after finally picking it up last month, and I’ve bought four (4!) Armored Core games. I beat AC4, so now I’m struggling through its sequel For Answer, and I have 3 and 5 to play once I’m done with it. I went through a whole ordeal to get a working Xbox 360 to play these, but that’s another story. I’ve been listening to the new FKA twigs album Eusexua a LOT lately, along with Ethel Cain’s 2022 album Preacher’s Daughter. I couldn’t tell you why. Clipping released a new track with Aesop Rock, and I am giddy over my two favorite rappers working together:

Alright, that’s it for now. The future is uncertain, sure. Even moreso than usual. But I don’t feel like worrying about that just yet. I’m going to go take a bath. Take care.